oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
