I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
