I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I am spending my child support on dildos
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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