so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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