idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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