5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
