i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Actions speak louder than pants.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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