last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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