just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
