Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize