its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
