That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
