i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Randomize
