i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Is Oprah even human
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
