The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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