that's an acceptable place to lick
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
