I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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