i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
