Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm always down for nudity.
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