I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
