so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
