He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
