i dont even know how to be here
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
