I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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