I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
