That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
