sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
