I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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