ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
