so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we made out on top of his cat.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
