eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
