yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize