i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
