there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
