youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
