ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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