So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
