So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
