Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
