and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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