I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
