I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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