well most of my day revolves around power hour
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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