Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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