Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
