I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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