You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i believe in u and ur pee
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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