Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
