About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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