On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
