those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Floor bacon is actually really good
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
