Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
