whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
