We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
pop tarts are not kleenex
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
