Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
