why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize