I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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