I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We were destined to go to rehab together
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
