Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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