Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
