Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
