I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
