Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
