I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
