I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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