none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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